A mysterious white light is seen flying though outer space which lands on planet Earth and it takes the form of young and blond, high school student Candy Christian (Ewa Aulin).Following a poetry recital at Candy's school, eccentric Welsh poet MacPhisto (Richard Burton) offers her a ride home in his limousine. En route, MacPhisto forces himself on her, but is unable to proceed after becoming too inebriated. With the help of her Mexican gardener, Emmanuel (Ringo Starr), and MacPhisto's limo driver Zero (Sugar Ray Robinson) Candy takes MacPhisto inside in order to help him out of his liquor-soaked clothes. In the basement, MacPhisto drunkenly recites poetry while humping a mannequin, inciting Emmanuel to sexually assault Candy. Scandalized upon walking in on the scene, Candy's uptight father (John Astin) (also her high school teacher) decides to send her away to live with his twin brother Jack (John Astin in a dual role) and his wife Livia (Elsa Martinelli) in New York City.At the airport, the family is accosted by Emmanuel's three vengeful sisters, Silvia, Lolita and Conchia, who accuse Candy of corrupting their brother. During the scuffle, Candy's father is rendered unconscious due to a head injury. The Christians escape by boarding a military plane commanded by General Smight (Walther Matthau), who later orders Candy to undress while expressing a desire to impregnate her. Meanwhile, he accidentally pushes the button that signals his paratroopers to leap from the plane. When General Smight realizes this, he jumps as well, only to slip out of his parachute harness and falls to his death.Upon landing in New York, Dr. Krankheit (James Coburn) meticulously performs surgery on Candy's father in front of an audience. When Uncle Jack attempts to seduce Candy during a post-operative cocktail party, the hospital's executive director, Dr. Dunlap (John Huston), berates her for her perceived lewd behavior, causing her to faint. Dr. Krankheit takes Candy to another room and tricks her into sex by pretending to examine her. While searching for her father, Candy wanders back into the operating room to find that Dr. Krankeit has branded all the nurses with his initials, as he prepares to do so to Livia. When he attempts to have Candy captured so that she is next, she flees the hospital.After wandering aimlessly on the streets of New York City, Candy ends up in a Sicilian bar, where she is beset by a group of mobsters, until an offbeat underground filmmaker, named Johnathan J. John (Enrico Maria Salerno), shows up, taking her into the men's room and shooting her for a film. As the room floods due to broken pipes, two policemen (Joey Forman and Fabian Dean) arrive and assault John, whereupon a drenched Candy escapes.In Central Park, Candy meets a hunchback (Charles Aznavour) who takes her into a deserted mansion later that night. A gang of thieves walks in and proceeds to ransack the place, while the hunchback rapes Candy on top of a grand piano. After arresting Candy, the two policemen maliciously plan to frisk her. However, they lose control of their squad car and crash into a club full of drag queens. As mayhem ensues, Candy escapes again.The next morning, Candy asks for a ride in the back of a semi-trailer truck, which turns out to be the sanctum of Grindl (Marlon Brando), a sham guru. He talks Candy into sex by taking her through the "seven stages" of enlightenment. After several days on the road, Grindl informs Candy that a different guru will guide her through the rest of her journey. Upon arrival in California, Candy is chased through the desert by the same two New York police officers, but she manages to outwit them. Shortly thereafter, Candy finds her new guru-a robed figure sporting a toucan on his shoulder, his face covered with white clay. She follows him into an underground Hindu temple, which then partially collapses due to a cataclysm. As the two proceed to have sex, Candy is shocked to discover the guru is actually her brain-damaged father, after his face is washed clean.As Candy wanders across a field... surrounded by flapping banners and hippies playing music... she revisits many of the characters she met throughout the film, before finally returning to outer space by transforming back into the bright white light and flying away.